Raising men: Reviving the Islamic tradition of brotherhood

Written by Shenaz Karim

Published in Stories

For around a decade, educators, psychiatrists and social scientists have been raising the alarm that something is going wrong for boys. Poorly served by an education system that privileges female ways of learning, and no longer having access to other sources of guidance and self-development in community settings, boys are falling through the cracks. Boys' scores in school are statistically lower than those of girls, and every year, fewer boys than girls make it to university or graduate. Those who work with boys are finding that they are increasingly disconnected: isolated and unplugged from their social contexts, they retreat into virtual worlds of computer and video games - and in some cases, into negative social groupings such as gangs.

While not all boys are in this boat, enough boys in our society are going “adrift” - as psychiatrist Leonard Sax puts it, that those who care about boys are searching out solutions. One interesting approach that is starting to gain momentum in North America suggests a revival of the way things were: when men had strong brotherhood bonds, felt connected to the land, had opportunities to express their natures without those expressions being seen as misbehavior (told to “quiet down”) and when men had other men as role models and mentors to assist them on the journey of life. In this effort to catch boys before they go adrift, thinkers, journalists, social commentators and men themselves are also exploring answers to the questions: Have men lost their traditional roles and importance in homes and in society? What is a real man today? What is it that a boy should aspire to be?

Muslim boys and men are not immune to the problems facing men in general. It is often our boys who are found in destructive behaviors such as drug dealing, gang violence, and petty crime. It is also our boys who spend hours on end playing videogames and being deprived of chances to express their physical natures. We catch glimpses of their adriftness sometimes, as they stand around the doors of the mosques during Taraweeh, not sure quite where they belong, or when we read an article about another victim of gang violence who was Muslim. We are in great need of ways to remedy and prevent these losses.

Interestingly, many of the social structures that are being championed as ways to assist boys are ones that Islamic tradition offers us. For example, Art of Manliness authors Kate and Brett McKay speak of the importance of men-only groups, where men can bond with one another, without the presence of females whom they feel they have to impress or act differently around. Islamic societies traditionally provide this sort of safe space, where individuals can interact with members of their own gender without having to cater to/perform in the presence of the other gender. Another means of providing men with a positive sense of belonging that is suggested is fraternities; as we know, profound relationships of brotherhood are constantly emphasised in Islam, and have been brought to a fine art in the example of the Companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings upon him. The idea of older men mentoring younger men is also present in Islamic tradition - in the form of the murabbi. The murabbi is a father figure (or mother figure, in the case of a girl) who counsels the young person in spiritual matters, supports the growth of his iman, and directs his desire for maturity into expressions that are in line with the Sunnah and meet religious goals.

Recognizing the richness of our own traditions, as well as the pressing need to apply them, a small group of brothers decided to take the theme of manhood and build a camp for Muslim boys using this motif. Camp Connect was born out a desire to provide a milieu in which boys can express their God-given manliness and be mentored on their journey to maturity. Simply put, Camp Connect's vision of a real man is the Muslim man, whose manhood is realized through the roles that God has given him to fulfil, in the image of he who perfected the art of manhood: Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings on him. The journey towards this type of maturity starts with a boy developing a connection to God and to His Messenger, to his brothers in faith, to older brothers (mentors), and to his family and surroundings. When our boys become connected along the right lines, inshaAllah they will grow up to be healthy, contributing men. Camp Connect takes boys out of their ordinary environment to allow them to establish these vital connections in a way that is lasting.

The Camp Connect program is designed to instruct boys in moral values and the Islamic vision of manhood indirectly, not through lectures and the like, but through informal conversations, and engaging in typical camp activities such as canoeing, hiking and swimming not only for the fun they offer, but as opportunities for self-growth and reflection. All campers will be staying together in one large cabin, where part of the challenge for boys will be to put others before themsleves and learn the art of serving one another. Daily activities will reflect the life of the Truest Man of all, our Beloved Prophet, peace and blessings upon him: boys will be actively involved in doing chores and taking care of camp. In addition, the program harnesses boys' innate desire to exprience challenges by empowering them to take positive risks such as exploring the outdoors and testing their personal limits; to meet goals such being self-disciplined in following a worship routine; and to form bonds of brotherhood with each other -- all as expressions of the skills of manhood. With experieced mentors who are there to provide individual attention to each boy, boys willl be supported to be their best selves.

Camp Connect is meant to be more than just an experience or activity, it is an investment in the future of our boys by making large concepts of identity, morality and our place in this world understandable and applicable in their everyday lives.

To find out more about Camp Connect, visit: http://as-sanad.com/summer2013/connect.html

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